Blog 9 Essay 2

So here is my second essay. It wasnt hard to write but i did get a little emotional while writing it because i remember it greatly.



You know going to college has made me reflect upon a lot of things in my life. You start to look at those things that maybe you take for granted every day in a different way. Well the thing that I reflected on the most is the relationship I have with my family. It all started my freshman year at Kean during football camp. I remember those 16 days like they happened 2 weeks ago, I could never forget those days as hard I tried. Those 16 days was the time I truly realized how much my mother meant to me.
That summer I was very lucky I was given a unique opportunity to continue my football career into the the college level. To say the least I was extremely excited. I never thought that I would have the ability to play in the next level, I was under the assumption that I would finish my senior season in high school and then go on to college and so on and so forth. After talking to my high school head coach and my father, I came to my decision to come and play football at Kean University. This was great because I wanted to become a teacher and Kean is known for education, also playing football helped me in receiving financial aide. So thats always a good thing, coming from a family of 5 with an older brother in college at Rutgers( where tuition was increasing like gas prices these days) and a younger sister who went to every event possible. Money didn't grow on trees in my house but my mother could sure stretch it.( as every kid watches their mother do) So all summer I trained and pushed myself to get ready for college ball. I was going out every night partying and having fun barely seeing my mother. At that time I didn't even think it was a big deal because I was 17 and all I wanted to do was enjoy my life.
Well the night before I had to report to camp came before I knew it and I was sitting my family room helping my mom pack my suitcase. After we finished she gave me a kiss and told me that no matter what that she loved me. She said all this because my and father and I had to leave my house at like 6am so she wouldn't be awake when we left. I remember that night I couldn't sleep, I tossed and turned all night because that feeling of excitement turned to that feeling of fear and nervousness. All night I just tried to keep telling myself how great college life was going to be and how my wish of getting out of my house was coming true. So eventually I fell asleep and what to me felt like only 20 minutes my dad was waking me up to get ready to leave. We packed the truck I took one last good look around and got in the car. As we started to pull away I saw my mom sitting in my bedroom looking at my window crying and she waved to me. I smile and waved back. I was thinking why is she crying I was only going 30 minutes up the parkway and its not like I wasn't ever going to come back.
Once we arrived at Kean it was a culture shock I had no idea where to go or who to see. I was up there twice for recruiting visits, but you don't pay attention you just listen to the players about parties and what college girls are like. After walking around for a little we finally found where we had to be. The head coach gave a speech and once that was over the parents could help the players move into the dorms. My dad helped me and once we were done I walked with him to his car and gave him a hug and I was on my own. I remember getting this feeling of freedom and I then went back to the dorms and got to know my room mates. At 6 we had dinner and after that we had meetings, I saw on the schedule they gave us each day for the next 16 days was planned out, every hour you were somewhere basically. So I went to my first college football meeting and well to say the least my head was spinning, because in high school they teach you one play or maybe two and your done for that meeting. In college you not only learned that play you learned how to identify a defense, how the play changes based upon a defenses alignment, so I realized quick that college ball was in the classroom as much as it was on the field.
So camp went on for a few days and you get into a groove where every day seems like its repeating the previous and all along I had this pain my stomach like I was sick. I didn't know what it was I just played through it trying to prove myself to the older guys. So finally around day 5 I knew why I was in pain, I missed home, I hated practice the coaches were always yelling at me, but most of all I missed my mother. I just wanted to hear her voice and see her. Then on day six I came in from practice and saw I had a missed cal on my phone and had a voice mail. The call was from home and when I saw that I was excited. I got the feeling you get when you wake up on Christmas morning, so it was great. I showered and then headed to lunch and started to listen to my voice mail. When I heard the dial tone click and started to hear my message, I started to cry so I ran off to hide behind a building so I wasn't to be seen. The message was from my mom asking me how I was doing and saying she loved me, but also telling me about the things that were happening at home. So to say the least as I wiped my tears I started to get that stomach pain again and I became really upset. The worse part was I couldn't bring myself to call home because I felt like a terrible son, after the way I was never home over the summer.
The whole night after meetings I didn't sleep because all I thought was I had an entire summer to spend some time with my mom and just let it slip it by. I was up all night and went to breakfast that morning looking like a zombie. After practice again I had a message from home and when I listened to it, again it was my mom saying the same stuff and telling me stories about home, but the difference was at the end she asked why I haven't called home in over a week. After I heard that part I broke down again and my only rationing was to turn my sadness into anger and use it on the field. You can only do that for so long I quickly figured out, this plan worked for my for about and hour. That night I left my phone in my room when I went to meetings and when I returned I had a text message from my brother asking me how I was doing, what it was like, and he ended saying how mom was really worried that she hasn't heard from me and I was to call home at my next available time. I read that and felt like crap, not only did I let my summer slip by now I was making the one person I truly missed most upset. I started to slip into a type of depression and I was getting worse as the times went by.
Around the 10th day my phone went off when I had free time, and the call was from my brother so I answered. To my surprise it was my mom and the minute I heard her voice I started to cry. Like all moms she knew I was upset and she started to talk to me. All I could say was how sorry I was and how much I missed her and how much I loved her. My mom is a very strong lady and she wont let me know shes crying, so she put a front on as she tried to calm me down, but I knew she was upset too. I told her how much I hated it and how much I wanted to come home. All she said was that she really wanted me to try to fight through one season and if afterwards I quite then hey I tried right. I didn't even want to look that far ahead all I was thinking about was coming home after camp for our one day off. So we talked some more and finally I made her a deal that I would call home every night and we would talk, and if I wanted to it could be about football, but if I wanted to talk about something else that was fine as well.
So every night I called home and we talked for about a hour and I had to lie to my room mates so they didn't think I was a wimp or something so when I would call home I would just tell them it was my friends on the line. Every night we talked and every time I heard her voice on the line at first I would cry. Things started to get better and my stomach pain started to dwindle into nothing. Some nights we would talk about how our puppies were or what my sister was up too or anything. She even asked me about if I had my eyes on any girls. Of course being my mom she said it be nice if I brought home a nice Italian girl with dark hair and dark eyes contrary to my previous girlfriends, who were all had blond hair with blue eyes. That made us laugh and helped me so much when I was so home sick. So it came down to that last night of camp and like usual we talked and that night it was about what I wanted to do on my day off. She told me that I could have my friends over to drink and she would cook on the grill for us. I told her how that sounded and great and how I couldn't wait to see her.
The next day took forever because of instead of focusing on the scrimmage I was in, I just kept looking at the clock planning my route home. Once the clock read quad zero I ran to the locker room. I got ready and waited in the parking lot for my dad to come. After a little bit I saw his car ran to it, threw my stuff in and told him to get me home as fast as possible. In the car he was asking me questions about camp and the entire time I just was giving him short answers, because my mind was on seeing my mother. We turned the corner on my street and I saw my house and as we pulled up my mom came and stood on the porch. I remember seeing her and I started to tear, once we came to a stop I got out of the car and walked to her. I got to my mom looked at her and just put my head on her shoulder and she held me. I was so happy to be in her arms and having he hold me. I look back and laugh because that had to be a funny site, me 6 foot 265 built football player leaning over to hug my tiny 5'5 mom.
We went inside and my entire family was waiting for me and I was ready for my brother to bust my chops about calling mom every night. After awhile of waiting he didn't say a word and I was surprised and kind of confused. I asked my mom about it and she told me that those calls were between me and her and no one on the house knew they happened. I hugged her and laugh, she then asked me what time my friends would be over and how much she would have to cook. I looked her in the eyes and said no one is coming and would she mind if we rented a movie and the family watched it together like we use to when we were all younger. She smiled said of course and that night we had ice cream and watched a comedy. I don't remember the movie but I do remember sitting next to my mom on the couch laughing with my family. It was a great time, that next night I had to go back to school for practice and this time my mom took me. She gave me a hug and I got out of the truck she looked at me and said that she be waiting by the phone for me to call at our usual time. So that night I called her and went like that my entire freshman year.
That was I realized how close I really am with my mother. Its funny because the personality I have got from her. Every good thing in me is because of her so I will say it proudly and will admit to it if I am ever asked. I am and will always be a momma's boy.